sober blog

I am on my way to work at my second job. It’s actually an old job that re opened and I volunteered to fill in. It’s really a cushy gig 10-3 and I always make mad bank. When I worked this job before, I would get off work and go blow some cash in a bar. It was a good way to cooldown from being berated by the boss man. I drank way too much coffee this morning and I am waiting for my stomach to settle to eat my apple ( a day) I am very much looking forward to depositing some money at the bank later. My 2 job and work schedule is pretty taxing, but early bed times help me be every where on time. This is turning into rambly craziness and the bus is so crowded I need to use my phone for music so I can forget about all these people.

I am on the way to school. It’s getting warm in Alabama, warm and wet. Last night I remembered that I still have a big bottle of wine stashed in my room. I only ever drank it when I was hard up, and it would usually find a way to meet my clothes or sheets. Now I am wondering what to do with it, my family drinks alot of wine. So I could attempt to slip it into the kitchen as unnoticed as I slipped it out. I could also just tell my mom, but I usually try to hide the real depths of my depravity from her. Once when she had to do a practice physical for np school she shined a light up my nose. I am sure she knew the corrosive effect cocaine has on your nose, but upon seeing it in her own son she could only sigh and look very dejected. I haven’t done any blow for a long time, but with no science to back it up I credit the stuff with opening up my nasal passages enough for me to breathe through my nose. I have little slit nostrils and have been told several times, “my brother, sister, whatever had nostrils just like yours and had to have surgery” I guess I have always been one for natural cures. Some kids in my class are giving speeches today, hopefully since this is the first of 3 speech days they might be alright. Mine is Friday when all the dullards can make me look even better by comparison.

Well, it’s Sunday. Before noon, and I would already like a beer or 12. I finished copying notes from class and my next speech, which is nearly finished, isn’t due until Friday. I am sitting in the suprisingly warm sun and playing with the cat. I got a student loan refund check, the key to not blowing all the money has to be sobriety. Sixty bucks worth of weed lasts me over a week, I can drop a bill or more in one night at a bar. Aside from that I am pretty frugal, a lesson learned from my mom I’m sure. I think to fight this boredom i will go to picklefish and smoke some pot with the cook and get a free lunch. I don’t know if a bar is the best place for an alcoholic. But I find some comfort sitting there ordering my non alcoholic cocktails— some of the best so far are diet coke with cranberry and sprite with pineapple. Know any good kids drinks besides a shirley temple or Roy Rogers?

After missing class the day after fat Tuesday (scheduling fail IMO) I found myself further than my compatriots in one class. And had to borrow notes from the cute girl who sits next to me in another, she also proffered her number in case I couldn’t read parts of it. She has very legible handwriting…. I carried my 24 hour sober coin with me at school, but today marks one week. A mark that I am pretty proud of. I find myself wondering the same thing I did when I quit smoking— when will it be okay to just have one? Some of my friends think I am turning into a sexual fiend/deviant/addict. I think I’m just being myself, and I am always safe! I am tending bar tonight and want to make some scratch for new shoes + gilt groupe.